What's happening?
At 1:36 AM on
Friday, December 31, 2004
Today is my last day. Not gonna wait till tml cos I'm sick of it. I'd rather earn less. Should be feeling damn happy but i seem feeling-less now. Yes I'm happy but I'm feeling more of tired. Very tired in fact.
The year is coming to an end. To conclude, 2004 has been a pretty terrible year for me as well as for the world. Right from the first day of 2004, many things aren't going smoothly for me. I shan't list them out here cos it's damn alot. Got attacked by a crow at the back of my head with it's claws that scratched me yesterday. Even wanted to attack me a second time from the front luckily i dodged in time. Really shocked me terribly. Couldn't recover from the shock for a long time and I dun understand why people found it funny. Their first reaction was to laugh when they heard which upsets me. I really hope that'll be e very last thing that will happen to me. Not mentioning the whole lot of shit i took at work yesterday that made me flare up for the very first time in 6 mths working at CDC. Even my colleagues were shocked. Shan't mention that again. Tired of repeating.
To think I've been crying everyday since the start of the week. Been really down. I guess I really need a break. A break from everything. I'm tired. Hope Fri's countdown and chalet will make whole lot of difference and I shall be recharged for the new year and a new school term. I will be back again.
*For this I promise you shifu that tu er will be back* By,
CarysMummy
Fear.
At 3:58 PM on
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
By,
CarysMummy
Things will never be the same again.
At 7:26 AM on
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
I wished I hadn't allowed exceptions to let them out of my sight.
I regret.
Feeling extremely extremely upset. A feeling of losing something of paramount importance to me.
I believe you are clearer than anyone else how much they meant to be and how much I treasured them. And because you know and out of kind intentions you thought of changing them to suit what you feel it's nicer, did you actually consider my feelings or whether I want it changed the way you want it to be? It is because I want it the way it is that's why I didn't want to change. It's MY memories, you have no right at all to lay your hands on them without my permission. What's more, have I not already made my stand very clear the other day that I want NOTHING done to it? And that I want it the very same way back? To think you have already started working on it without my consent. Don't you have the basic courtesy of at least telling me before you start? It's not that I did not inform you earlier. I've told you so many times. The very first time you did something to it without my consent, though feeling uncomfortable but i could still accept it as it's only a small portion and reminded you time and again NOT to do anymore things to the rest. Why do it again? I can no longer be magnanimous this time. It's the limit.
Even though it may seem ugly and junk to you like you've commented, to me, every single piece of work meant my effort, my memories. The process of piecing everything together, organising them out of hundreds, each arrangement and alignment, penning down my thoughts or even the very handwriting then signifies something. The moment when I was trying to recall the most memorable and significant event in my life. No matter how sloppish and unacceptable it may seem to you, it is of significant importance to me and none of your business. It is the very moment of doing it, not how nicely it's done u understand? Why can't you just simply view it and keep your hands off this? I just don't understand! I'm sorry but I really think what u're doing is redundant and i see it as being a busybody.
And do you really think by saying it's easy to put everything the same way back it can be the same? It can never and will never be the same anymore! It feels lk having a deep scratch on my favourite watch. I feel the pinch. It is no longer the same one done by ME now that you did something to it before! IT WILL NO LONGER BE THE SAME! I can easily buy another watch but I can never buy this back again!
This may seem a trivial matter to all of you. That's all because NOONE can ever understand how deeply I feel for my most treasured things and memories. Something I will cry over. Pls DON'T say you know/understand how I feel like you always do cos the fact is YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO AND YOU DON'T!
Even my closest and dearest family members know how to respect me and knows their limits to touching this thing I hold dearly and mean alot to me. I know these words will hurt you, to be frank, those memories and even the albums mean much much more than you mean to me. NOTHING can ever replace them. I want the old albums back but it's no longer possible. It's as good as losing them. Though I had a good cry after hearing what had been done, I still feel very very upset over it.
I regret leaving them out of my sight.
I should have insisted on taking them back with me.
I REGRET!
By,
CarysMummy
Pictures taken on Da Ge's wedding
At 4:20 AM on
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Da Ge being 'tortured' - Drink a mixture of 'interesting' ingredients
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:19 AM on
Another 'torture' - plucking 29 leg hairs
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:18 AM on
Finally..after much 'tortures'..
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:17 AM on
e long awaited day..
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:16 AM on
the walk down e isle..
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:15 AM on
all cousins..
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:14 AM on
cousins..she's so pretty...
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:13 AM on
my dear sisters..
By,
CarysMummy
At 4:12 AM on
2nd row: Real cousins
1st row(left to right): My sis's bf, cousin's bf, cousin's husband
By,
CarysMummy
Idle.
At 4:02 AM on
Friday, December 24, 2004
Realised I haven been blogging much. Simply cos not much happy happenings since Da Ge's wedding and I dun wish to keep posting sad posts thus I've decided that I'll blog only when I'm happy to maintain my happy blog. Crazy Jasmine.
Felt so sinful after the feast yesterday with Ah yi. Had so much which i tink it's equivalent to a day's breakfast lunch and dinner all in just a meal. That's really how much i ate for dinner last night. Gosh! What's this bout going on a diet? I'll just be a fat and bloated piece of ugly bridesmaid on my teacher's wedding day!!ARGH!! I DUN WAN!!!
Recently felt no purpose in going to work. Simply idling everyday. Other den the superly nice colleagues i have here and having ah yi's company and the many feasting and chatting sessions, nothing else here interests me. Good thing I'm gonna start sch soon though it isn't any much better. Will miss ah yi as well as the many nice chaps here.
Hopefully i'll be able to post the pics taken on the wedding day tonight!
By,
CarysMummy
Happily ever after.
At 2:22 AM on
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Woke up at 7am yesterday. Couldn't get to slp the whole night. As if I'm the one getting married! Haha. Not only me. Mummy too. As if she's marrying her daughter off! LOL! Probably cos that's the first wedding in the family as my cousin is the eldest. It is e big thing for all of us. All overly excited. Reached my uncle's place at around 8 plus to wait for the arrival of the couple for tea ceremony. SO FUN!! We had to hide in the room when the couple arrives at e house cos of some chinese customs we have to follow. Only when they enter the room then we can come out and meet them. So the 20 over of us hid in the small room. Though hot and stuffy but it was enjoyable! Haha.
My Da Sao is so pretty yesterday. I guess for all gals the prettiest moment in our entire life would be on our marriage day. Though some will say they are pretty everyday. Haha. She's really gorgeous. After the tea ceremony and some photo taking sessions, the couple left for the bride's place. E rest of us stood around and had a great time together. After which went home to rest and doll up for e night's dinner, the part 2.
Had my hair curled cos mummy wanted to do dat for me. Not too bad but guess it doesn't really suit me. Reached the hotel around 6 plus and went to explore the suite that my cousin booked. Beautiful.
The dinner started at around 8 plus after displaying a presentation of the couple. Clips showing all the way from young till dating days till now. It left me with a really sweet feeling and i really feel so happy for them.
Finally the time came for the couple to enter. From the moment the song played, the door opened and the couple seen, i feel so so so touched. I could really feel the love and seriously do not how to describe my many feelings den. It went far beyond just feeling happy for them. It is really THE MOMENT.
I hereby wanna wish Da Ge and Da Sao forever so loving till the end of time. We want nieces and nephews soon!!
By,
CarysMummy
Another happy day.
At 2:04 PM on
Saturday, December 18, 2004
The thing that made me really happy was I just received a xmas card from weeyang! A greeting that came all the way from London! So happy so happy. Heez.
I wanna be happy everyday! =)
By,
CarysMummy
Words can't express how happy I am.
At 7:43 AM on
Friday, December 17, 2004
Went to visit my colleague jovian together with 'ah yi', susan and rosaleen at ttsh. Susan is really a wonderful lady. Other den her elegant appearance, she's one great company to have. Never fail to bring laughter to everyone in the office. Feels lk a caring mother. Took her car there and the whole journey was splendid.
Another thing that touched me and brightened up my day indeed was seeing jovian looking so much better. Like 'ah yi' said, it's indeed God's grace. "There can be miracles when you believe" is indeed true. I really wanna thank God for loving each and everyone of us. She could chat with us and what touched me deeply was she remembered me. Words alone simply cannot express the feelings flowing within me. I still can remember what she said to me. "Xiao mei, ni hai ji de wo, guan xin wo." That moment I really felt elated and consoled.
From that visit, i once again feel the importance of being healthy. Nothing can replace health and having loved ones by ur side. Every visit will definitely leave me with million thoughts racing through my mind. I will not only appreciate my loved ones around me even more but oso appreciate the good health blessed upon me. By,
CarysMummy
Done.
At 3:54 AM on
Special thanks to:
Jinny - e entire layout
Shifu - the slideshow, post title and tagboard and most imptly the many advice and nonsense he hafta take from his tu er, me.
Christopher - the pictures
THANX ALOT MY DEAR FRIENDS!!!
Really admire these people for their talent in this field. Being such a com idiot, I look at the codes, it's simply they know me but I noe nuts about them. Though i really love and would like to set up my blog on my own and i really tried looking through the codes but I simply dunno how and where to start. Went to e html website to look up on how to and thank God I noe e BASIC as in REALLY BASIC now. Sigh. What an idiot I am. By,
CarysMummy
What do I want?
At 3:46 PM on
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Once again the same topic was discussed. The weird thing was I thot I was strong enough to face this and I thot I wasn't really affected by it. But the truth is after wad she said to me i could feel tears welling up. I dunno why. By right I should be able to take it. It's nothing much frankly. But But But.. Why did I actually feel something?
Chat with him today. Really miss him.
A big THANK YOU to jinny hu helped me with my blog. Well done my dear! And not forgetting Shifu too..=)
By,
CarysMummy
Mixed feelings.
At 5:06 AM on
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
My mood went up and down e whole morning. First thing when i arrived at the office I received an old man's call complaining about us not receiving his application. Never receive means never receive wad. Wad can we do right? He's extremely difficult and agitated. Luckily the modules on workplace skills and customer helping skills came in handy. But that really made my morning. Totally upset not mainly cos of the unreasonable man but cos my colleague in charge simply pushed everything to me. Sigh.
My mood changed 360 degrees when Ms Mak invited me to be her bridesmaid. So happy and excited!!Dis is my first time and i simply can't wait for the day to come. Thanx so much Ms Mak!
Then after which read my classmate's blog and felt pretty affected over it. Made me dislike school. I do not feel lk attending dat sch anymore!
It's only a few hours and so many thoughts and feelings came. Happy ones sad ones. I do wish i have more of the happy ones. I dun wish to keep feeling unhappy. Sigh.
Still unsure of what I should do. He has always been on my mind ever since. There are choices and decisions for me to make. Should I wait? Pls give me some signals. I'm lost. By,
CarysMummy
Wonderful night.
At 4:42 PM on
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Today's been a great day. Found out something which 'ah yi' meant not to let me know. Haha. Her effort to beautify my memories and make my special memories even more special now that she's part of it. Really thankful for everything she's done for me. Ever so sweet and caring. I LOVE YOU AH YI!! *from the bottom of my heart*
By,
CarysMummy
Dilemmas.
At 5:45 AM on
Another dilemma.. Been talking to 'ah yi' and kind of 'counselled' by her. She encouraged me to pluck up my courage to take the initiative and pursue my happiness. But deep down though I really am interested in him but Jasmine just doesn't know how to take the first step. It is so not Jasmine. Sigh. Should I or should I not? By,
CarysMummy
More tests!!
At 2:22 AM on
We don't need a psychic to tell us that you're giving off a Sapphire vibe. People with blue auras feel everything strongly — you tend to get a little emotional at the drop of a hat. You're also deeply spiritual and introspective. Matters of the heart, mind, and soul are important to you, and your waters run as deep as the ocean. Nurturing by nature, you're likely a loving, supportive caretaker. That's why friends, family, and co-workers adore you. They know you're a good listener and always have great advice and a shoulder for them to cry on. In fact, if we had to find a fault, it's that you can be a tad too self-sacrificing. Remember that it's okay to say no sometimes. You forgive everyone else their weaknesses, so go ahead and forgive yourself for a little well-deserved selfishness. Indulge your creative side and do something artsy, or just take a break from being the world's counselor. You'll come back refreshed and ready for more.
Hmm..Pretty accurate..
By,
CarysMummy
WOOHOO!!
At 4:29 PM on
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Back from work at CC. Time just passes so quickly there. Chatted with Christopher. Farida came with Farhan. Had fun and laughter. Simply the best! Just love it so much.
Finally a piece of good news came saying jovian's doing fine and condition improving. Felt really happy for her. Thank God. Really.
By,
CarysMummy
:: Happy ::
At 8:30 AM on
Saturday, December 11, 2004
We've finally cleared the many misunderstandings. I'm really really glad. Somehow after the conversation i felt so much better. Though the news came as a surprise and totally different from e outcome i've expected, but it was something i can accept totally. It's so much better than leaving things unsaid and explained and for me to make guesses. Now i fully understood everything. A sudden feeling of enlightenment.
I truly appreciate ur trust in me. I'm willing to be your listening ear and friend always. By,
CarysMummy
Another test..
At 5:10 AM on
YOU ARE CLOSE to finding "the one!" We have carefully calculated your responses according to our scientific formula and harmonized the results to the Venutian lunar calendar. But don't get your hopes up to hear those wedding bells soon, because your bridesmaid days aren't over just yet.
YOU WILL BE MARRIED BY: Saturday, September 8, 2007
A number of different factors influenced your result. Check out the details below.
Social Factors
On the social front, you are pretty serious marriage material. As you read this, forces beyond your control are aligning to put you on the altar with Mr. Right. It's you, girl. Your number is up, and someone out there is just dying to pop you the question. There's no need to book a flight to Vegas, but you might want to start thinking about your wedding gown.
Emotional Factors
Emotionally, you seem to show some inner hesitations about marriage. C'mon, you didn't think you could hide it from us, did you? You've got what it takes to make the plunge, but you seem to want a little more time. There is something more than the "jitters" at work here. Maybe you just want to enjoy your single status for a little longer. Go for it, Honey, and tell them Tickle says it's OK.
Sexual Factors
You have very few sexually motivated reasons for avoiding marriage. Of course, the carefree single life can pose a strong attraction, but you probably prefer the thought of devoting yourself to one person. It's true that there are a lot of unsolved mysteries out there, but once you've found the right person, it's time to close shop. Congratulations on having the strength and security to know what's right for you.
WOW!!I'm getting married in 3 yrs time??LOL!!DAT'S RUBBISH!
By,
CarysMummy
Another test..
At 5:03 AM on
Don't go bananas — in your former life you were a tiny monkey named Oompa. Here's what we know about you: Adorably sweet demeanor and sharp as a tack, you found success working with a street performer named Juan, who worshipped you and treated you like his own child. He bought you a gold satin jumpsuit with royal blue ruffles, a matching top hat, and a sequined bag for donations. He would play your favorite disco tunes on his accordion, prompting you to dance around and flirt with the crowd while you collected spare change and picked pockets. Everybody loved you. And you loved everybody. You and Juan took your gig around the country and raked in the riches. You were one happy little monkey.
Interesting. I'm was one happy little monkey. Haha. I'm OOMPA!
By,
CarysMummy
Another test..
At 4:36 AM on
jasmine, in your Cinderella story, you'd get to Kiss the Prince
You don't need the pouffy dress, the fancy hair, or the 3-inch glass heels. A romantic soul like you just wants a guy who's a true companion, a good friend, a real prince. And if he's hot? All the better. But ultimately, you know that home is where the heart is. Which is probably why you surround yourself with good friends you can take care of and laugh with — friends who will do the same for you.
But that doesn't keep you from fantasizing about the perfect relationship. It's not that you don't have your feet firmly planted on the ground. It's just that you're not afraid to shoot high. Or wish upon a shooting star. So keep reaching for your goals, Cinderella. If you do, your happily ever after can't be far away. And you can seal that with a kiss.
I wanna be cinderella!!LOL!!
By,
CarysMummy
Another test..
At 4:31 AM on
You are a Hopeless romantic
Do you swoon when a guy recites poetry to you? Go ga-ga over a bouquet of hand-picked wildflowers? Then there's no doubt about it — you're a textbook Hopeless Romantic. Chances are you love soft music, candlelight, and long walks on the beach at sunset. Crying at sappy movies (your favorite kind) is a given — a box of tissues is a must — and you've have had your wedding planned since grade school. You're looking for a deep relationship — a soulmate. Traditional and sympathetic, guys love that they can open up to you and talk to you about their feelings, their past, and their hopes for the future. How can a suitor win your heart? By romancing you. Sending you flowers, surprising you with a picnic lunch, or going for a horse-drawn carriage ride. Before you know it, you'll be creating a life-long love story.
Oh my..This is so true!!Hmm.. By,
CarysMummy
Another test..
At 4:23 AM on
Your type is the Romantic
There's no such thing as too much wining and dining! You're a sucker for theRomantic. Some flowers...a nice dinner...a little music — right up youralley! Your type places his woman on a pedestal and treats her like aprincess. That's exactly what you crave. Whether you need it or not, youlike the reassurance that a romantic guy provides. With him, you never feeltaken for granted. You don't fall for the tough-guy act — in fact, you'returned off by a guy who's not in touch with his feminine side. The sensitivemale who properly courts a woman will steal your heart every time. A littletraditional? Yup. A little old-fashioned? Maybe so. But did a little extradoting ever hurt anyone? Definitely not.
Hmm..Sounds pretty true. Are you the one? By,
CarysMummy
Another test..
At 3:46 AM on
Well, everything's not quite roses and teddy bears for you, but you do tend to look on the bright side of life (we can hear those Monty Python boys whistling right now...). Sure, you sometimes bitch and moan about your problems (who doesn't?), but deep down you're pretty sure that everything will eventually turn out fine. When the weather man says it's going to be sunny, you leave your umbrella at home. In general, you like to be around people, and you try to make new friends when you can. You do your best to take things at face value, rather than making mountains out of molehills. Basically, the world is sort of like a big coconut to you: tough and hairy on the outside, but, when you get down into it, there's good stuff inside.
Who says i'm a pessimist? I'm apparently NOT!
By,
CarysMummy
A test I took..
At 3:24 AM on
jasmine, the emoticon that represents you best is the Smiling Face
What's up, smiley? Somehow you just always seem to find a way to turn that frown upside down. Your upbeat attitude and friendly demeanor brighten up any room, including your favorite chat room.
Like your classic emoticon counterpart, you're a staple on anyone's list. Boring days and sleepless nights are far more bearable when you're online to chat. Whether you're shooting the breeze, catching up, or giving out advice, you can cheer up anyone on the other side of the conversation. So keep lightening the mood, making new friends, and bringing smiles to other folks' faces. After all, it's just so natural for you!
Is this really accurate? I really wonder...
By,
CarysMummy
What the?!
At 9:13 AM on
Friday, December 10, 2004
U can jolly well keep dat gap of urs shut if u haf nothing better to say. By,
CarysMummy
Trust.
At 8:09 AM on
CarysMummy
Workless day.
At 6:54 AM on
Was toking to 'ah yi' the whole day and she got so uptight when she saw me take photo with other guys. Luckily she's not my mother. But she has her point and concern la. I appreciate.
Can't stop whining about school and everything gotta do with school. Had a short chat with Susan and realised she has the same thinking as me. Pretty glad that at least I found a girlfriend in class who is around my type. I FOUND A FREN! By,
CarysMummy
Some pictures we took that night...
At 1:51 AM on
My beloved BB YEPERS!! A pity GF,Von,Jinlian & Weeyang wasn't there.
Me and BF!
Cheers!
My companions!!Love them!=)
This is wad we had. Looks yummy?
Seoul Garden's earthquake.
By,
CarysMummy
I wish I wish
At 3:51 AM on
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Sigh. My next sem's groupings are out. I dun feel like going to school. How I wish all the 22 BB Yepers were my classmates. How I wish my groupmates were BF, GF, Von, Jinlian, Weeyang & Wenhao. I wish I wish. By,
CarysMummy
Touched.
At 5:50 AM on
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
After visiting Ah Ma, I went home, ate and took a bath before I head for TTSH to visit my colleague. I was really shocked by what I saw. Her condition became so bad that I could feel the pain for her. The doctor said she's already in the final stage and will go into coma anytime. It was the first time i saw her opened her eyes and look at me. Then I really felt like crying but I noe it wasn't appropriate. There is so little we can do. We talked to her family members and it's really saddening. Could feel the pain they are going through. Really praying for miracle. Dear Lord, Please don't take her away.
It's often the case that we'll appreciate one another more only when certain things happen. I must tell myself I can't wait till den to appreciate people around me. I dun wan to regret. I've oredi experienced it and I dun wan it to happen again. Though I've been constantly telling my family I love them but I noe action speaks louder than words. I guess my little sis must be feeling quite irritated with me cos I tell her I love her every day and night. But i really do. I really wish the 5 of us will be together forever. Just like what mummy thot of doing when they say the world's gonna come to an end in y2k. She has decided that she's gonna use a long and strong rope to tie the 5 of us together so we'll never gonna part. My dearest family-Daddy, Mummy, Jie & Mei - I LOVE ALL OF YOU DEARLY!
In case tomorrow never comes, I must tell all my frens out there that I treasure all of you. Really.
By,
CarysMummy
At 12:14 AM on
Monday, December 06, 2004
And I'm so in love with the christmas tree infront of me at the counter. IT'S SO PRETTY! Thot of carrying it home when noone's watching. Haha. Dey told me they bought it at watsons. I WANT ONE TOO!
Hmm i was told my colleague's condition worsened. They stopped all medication and was preparing her stuff. Nearly e whole of CDC was at the hospital on fri night. The atmosphere was bad cos she was telling them she's leaving and asking for last words. Sigh. Why do such things have to happen? I was feeling uneasy the whole night.
Was clearing and packing my room today. Threw away lots of things. As i was throwing a sudden feeling of sadness came back as i thot of my sec times, JC times. Though i wasn't exactly happy during my JC times cos of the many unhappy things that happened, i still felt something. Sigh. That is so jasmine. But well, I am very satisfied with myself today for making my room such a nice place to live in. Haha.
Can't wait for Da Ge's wedding!!!
By,
CarysMummy
I Feel Loved
At 6:18 AM on
Saturday, December 04, 2004
Went to Ah Ma's house yesterday after work with daddy. My heart melt when i saw Ah Ma's face lit up when she saw me ( Hey I'm not trying to brag but she's really happy to see me. Dun say my Ah Ma's trying to entertain me ok! )Though it was just a short while, but i could feel ah ma's love for me. She held my hand saying the same things again, "an zua li eh qiu ar ni gua?", she pat me on my back and the feeling is really good cos i've neva been dat close to ah ma before. A different kind of feeling totally. Makes me feel that love from family is the most wonderful thing on earth. So why do i need a bf?
Went to visit my colleague at tan tock seng hospital on wed. She's diagnosed with cancer at advance stage. Looking at her I really feel that life is unpredictable and meaningless. She used to be so bubbly and cheerful and such things had to happen to her. Life is unfair isn't it? I often wonder y do we have to work so hard when eventually we're all gonna die? I noe it's very pessimistic to think dat way esp at age of 19 but such things really makes me wonder. What's the point of living?
Dear Lord, I pray that u'll protect and bless Jovian through her most difficult times and take away all her pain and suffering. I pray that she'll be able to pull through this tough period. Amen. By,
CarysMummy
Jasmine