Just what is it I want?
At 1:53 PM on
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Knowing what I want and obviously can't get it, I'm even more upset.
Sometimes it is not about receiving all the time.
Perhaps this time God has better plans for me.
And I hope He does. By,
CarysMummy
What does that mean?
At 1:00 AM on
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
We were back in our school days. At a morning assembly with the council singing the national anthem. After that, on my way down the stairs I saw a cat. Then he appeared out of nowhere, stood infront of me and wanted to protect me. However the cat got crazy and attacked him instead. It stratched him hard on his arm leaving him with gaping wound. The cat attempted a second attack at him but this time I offered my arm not wanting the cat to hurt him again. Fortunately mine wasn't as bad as someone took the cat away on time. Looking at him and his wounded arm, I was indeed touched and shocked. Took him to have his wound cleaned up and went sourcing for a first aid kit. Held his hand and treated his wound and the whole process of cleaning with the alcohol and applying the medicine just seemed so vivid. I could actually feel the pain he's enduring. His facial expression was vivid as well. There seemed to be feelings left between us and the chance to be together again in the dream. I was indeed moved. Then I woke up..
I actually woke up feeling sweet at that instance. Perhaps it was vivid that's why. But later on came to realise it's just a dream and never will happen in real life. He will never be mine again to begin with. But why this dream? I guess I'll need to look for Jeanette to decipher it for me. Was I really missing him that much to dream of him? I admit I was thinking about the moments spent together with him just before I went to bed last night. It's scary how immediate the effect was right? *ponders* .
By,
CarysMummy
Afraids.
At 5:42 AM on
Monday, June 27, 2005
But I can't stop myself from thinking.
I don't know what I want in life.
I'm afraid my happiness with them will just disappear like it had before with other people.
Now that they have become so part of my life and I hold them dearly. It's fate that brought us together.
I wish all happy moments with them and everything remains.
I hope I won't fall any deeper. At least forbid and control myself not to.
I do not wish that history will repeat itself.
Just stay this way.
I'll be contented. By,
CarysMummy
Hoping for the better.
At 1:52 AM on
Friday, June 24, 2005
Yes I noe i shouldn't be even harbouring thoughts on something so obviously impossible. Pls knock some sense into me. Wake up Jasmine! By,
CarysMummy
Whatever.
At 12:15 PM on
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
And through this incident, I guess I need to reassess myself as a friend. I used to think my family is my everything. Though they still remain my everything now, I guess I ought to give my friends more space in my heart as well. They deserve it. I've been telling myself I do not need friends and family is all I need. I guess I'm wrong. I need a balance. I admit I've been very unfair to my friends and yet they've not given up on me. Remembering me after so long and sending well wishes really touches me. Though those might just be small gestures, it's enough to know they still care. I really appreciate.
This 20th birthday has been quite a reflective one. Sad and happy. Happy to know many people care for me. Sad to know that perhaps from now on I'll be keeping things to myself. Well, whatever happens, that's life and it goes on whether I'm happy or sad. The earth will not stop spinning just because of me. By,
CarysMummy
I am 20!
At 6:38 AM on
Sunday, June 19, 2005
I turned 20 yesterday. My colleague gave me a cake stating 'Welcome to the twenties!'. I had such kind and sweet colleagues who looked upon me as a little girl. They take care of me at work, gives me advice as a senior and talk to me as a friend.
This birthday seemed really short and it's over before I know it. It just seemed lk I just stepped out of my house with so much anxiety to meet them and soon it's over and back to reality. How sad. Just a yr ago I was still in a foreign country celebrating my birthday with wee yang and a group of wonderful souls with cream all over. A yr later, God gave me another priceless gift - The E&H Company.
I thank Him for these wonderful companions bestowed upon me. I feel blessed and fortunate. Special thanks esp to Mai Lao Shi. If not for you, I wouldn't have known wonderful pple lk daddy, lao shi gong, thad, russell, shiliang as well as the sweeties weilin, jeanette. All of them are precious to me. All the care and concern just makes me love u all more each day. I wish for more time together. It doesn't matter the length of time we've known each other. It's the quality of time spent together, not the quantity. I seriously had an unforgettable birthday. Thanx all who made it happen. U guys are a part of my beautiful memories, a part of my life. A HUGE THANK YOU AND LOVE TO ALL!
By,
CarysMummy
Is that the real me?
At 5:00 AM on
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Your #1 Match: ESFJ |
The Caregiver You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first. A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change. You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project. You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people. You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher. |
By,
CarysMummy
A quiz i did. Sounds pretty true.
At 4:53 AM on
The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was arrogant, acting like the dictator of your life. |
Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
By,
CarysMummy
Why like that?
At 5:17 AM on
Thursday, June 09, 2005
When i was packing my room on sun, i came across the last thing that i hesitated to throw away 2 yrs ago and kept till now. However, it got destroyed on its own. It was nobody's fault. I attributed it to fate. It is a hint. An ans for me. To give up and let go cos he is never gonna be mine again. Yes, mai lao shi dun worry, i will move on.
With the warmth my family gives me, the happiness i get from E&H company, the care and concern i get from friends, shifu, colleagues, Jasmine is gonna be strong and happy again! By,
CarysMummy
It's SO jasmine.
At 8:37 AM on
Friday, June 03, 2005
2. Got my results. Thankfully I do not have to repeat any modules.
3. Feeling relieved that I'm gonna be FREE on sat nights.
4. I MISS E&H COMPANY!! I WANNA MEET THEM SOON! By,
CarysMummy
Jasmine is back!
At 4:42 AM on
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Still remembered what Pak Soon shared with us on one of our sharing session in cambodia. He asked to think of the most important one word in this world that applies to us. The one word he gave was 'relationship'. This I totally agree.
It is amazing how people from different walks of life coming together to establish a relationship. A special kind of relationship that warms my heart. To know there are wonderful people around me who cares. Thank God for giving me these people in my life to brighten up my days. They're precious gifts from heaven indeed. I'm fortunate. There's nothing more I can ask for.
A huge and special thanks to the pple hu gave me really happy moments since 20th May. I've not been that happy for quite some time. If not for my dearest Lao Shi hu gave me e opportunity to help out at her wedding, i wouldn't have all these happiness. I wouldn't have found my ever wonderful 'daddy', wouldn't have the chance to know the father of 2 can be that crazy, hor uncle thad? (HAHA! Uncle thad wun read this anyway),the chance to know sweetie weilin, the chance to make merry at lao shi gong's place and sit at tcc and enjoy time together. A BIG BIG HUG TO ALL OF U ESP LAO SHI!! Really looking forward to another gathering! Hope there will be more to come!!
Okay, i've finally quit my CC job. After a long struggle with myself, i finally decided to let go. Shan't elaborate cos it'll easily take up alot of space. Unhappy things aren't worth mentioning. Anyway, gotten many pple's support and i guess that's enough. Thanx all for hearing me out.
Very contented with life as it is now. I wish everything remains. By,
CarysMummy
Jasmine