Things will never be the same again.
At 7:26 AM on
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
I wished I hadn't allowed exceptions to let them out of my sight.
I regret.
Feeling extremely extremely upset. A feeling of losing something of paramount importance to me.
I believe you are clearer than anyone else how much they meant to be and how much I treasured them. And because you know and out of kind intentions you thought of changing them to suit what you feel it's nicer, did you actually consider my feelings or whether I want it changed the way you want it to be? It is because I want it the way it is that's why I didn't want to change. It's MY memories, you have no right at all to lay your hands on them without my permission. What's more, have I not already made my stand very clear the other day that I want NOTHING done to it? And that I want it the very same way back? To think you have already started working on it without my consent. Don't you have the basic courtesy of at least telling me before you start? It's not that I did not inform you earlier. I've told you so many times. The very first time you did something to it without my consent, though feeling uncomfortable but i could still accept it as it's only a small portion and reminded you time and again NOT to do anymore things to the rest. Why do it again? I can no longer be magnanimous this time. It's the limit.
Even though it may seem ugly and junk to you like you've commented, to me, every single piece of work meant my effort, my memories. The process of piecing everything together, organising them out of hundreds, each arrangement and alignment, penning down my thoughts or even the very handwriting then signifies something. The moment when I was trying to recall the most memorable and significant event in my life. No matter how sloppish and unacceptable it may seem to you, it is of significant importance to me and none of your business. It is the very moment of doing it, not how nicely it's done u understand? Why can't you just simply view it and keep your hands off this? I just don't understand! I'm sorry but I really think what u're doing is redundant and i see it as being a busybody.
And do you really think by saying it's easy to put everything the same way back it can be the same? It can never and will never be the same anymore! It feels lk having a deep scratch on my favourite watch. I feel the pinch. It is no longer the same one done by ME now that you did something to it before! IT WILL NO LONGER BE THE SAME! I can easily buy another watch but I can never buy this back again!
This may seem a trivial matter to all of you. That's all because NOONE can ever understand how deeply I feel for my most treasured things and memories. Something I will cry over. Pls DON'T say you know/understand how I feel like you always do cos the fact is YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO AND YOU DON'T!
Even my closest and dearest family members know how to respect me and knows their limits to touching this thing I hold dearly and mean alot to me. I know these words will hurt you, to be frank, those memories and even the albums mean much much more than you mean to me. NOTHING can ever replace them. I want the old albums back but it's no longer possible. It's as good as losing them. Though I had a good cry after hearing what had been done, I still feel very very upset over it.
I regret leaving them out of my sight.
I should have insisted on taking them back with me.
I REGRET!
By,
CarysMummy
Jasmine