Whatever.

At 12:15 PM on Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Yes it's true that God is fair. When He gives you one thing He will take away another. He gave me friend's concern but took away mum's concern. He gave me friend's attention but took away mum's attention. It's the first time she did not ask about me when I'm sick now. She hasn't talked to me properly since. Whatever it is, do what she want. I no longer care. It has indeed upset me deeply and the hurt is already there. If she wants to talk to me den good, if she doesn't, fine. I'm tired.

And through this incident, I guess I need to reassess myself as a friend. I used to think my family is my everything. Though they still remain my everything now, I guess I ought to give my friends more space in my heart as well. They deserve it. I've been telling myself I do not need friends and family is all I need. I guess I'm wrong. I need a balance. I admit I've been very unfair to my friends and yet they've not given up on me. Remembering me after so long and sending well wishes really touches me. Though those might just be small gestures, it's enough to know they still care. I really appreciate.

This 20th birthday has been quite a reflective one. Sad and happy. Happy to know many people care for me. Sad to know that perhaps from now on I'll be keeping things to myself. Well, whatever happens, that's life and it goes on whether I'm happy or sad. The earth will not stop spinning just because of me.

By,
CarysMummy