Tomorrow will be a better day?

At 1:47 AM on Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Yesterday was the first day of school after a relatively long break. Just tell me why did the feelings I had last sem come back all over again? Does it ALWAYS happen to me? And indeed I'm making myself really unhappy.


I find it hard to be myself in class. Found it hard to bring out my true self. Perhaps I do not even know what's my true self. I do not hate the class. I just hate what I'm studying. I do not dislike my classmates. I just do not know why I'm a different person infront of them. It's the first time I'm hating school that much although I know I will miss it after 2 years. Anyway I just got to hang on and do some self-motivation.


If I have a choice, I do not mind turning the world into an all gals environment. No guys would mean no troubles. This is the stage I've finally reached. Learning to let go is something I've got to master real soon if not I'll never climb out of that hole I've dug for myself and had fallen in eventually. I really hope to come out of it soon.


The fact that I'm big-sized now indeed contributed to my unhappiness. And I hate the fact that I have absolutely no determination about it letting it bother me. I binge, I can't stop and I HATE IT to the core.

By,
CarysMummy