I really don't like this.

At 8:50 AM on Wednesday, October 05, 2005

I think stress is causing my weight to shoot tremendously. Or is it because I have not been eating when I extracted my teeth and now when it’s healed I can’t control my excessive eating thus causing my weight to increase few folds? It must have been the latter. Well, just hope that the extraction of my wisdom teeth on Friday will change my eating habit. I desperately need to lose weight. Really.

Something’s weird. Whenever mummy sees him, she gets quite excited. But why? Why when everything’s over? I guess she’s the only one who understands me. She knows how I feel deep down even though there was a constant denial. Perhaps a self denial all along. I am really sorry for breaking my promise to put everything behind. I simply can’t. I did try, but have not been able to succeed. I know I shouldn’t make empty promises but it’s really not easy. I hate myself for not being able to forget, for not moving on and for hurting those who care. Whenever I see him, feelings rekindle. And knowing it’s never possible between us, I really do not wish to have anymore feelings for him. Please let me forget him totally. Please!


By,
CarysMummy