Just not my day.

At 2:32 PM on Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Had my first car accident today after passing for more than a year. It was really a terrifying experience. Was in a state of shock after being hit by a car coming out of its lot when I drove past. It resulted in a huge dent on my car door. The driver claimed that she was coming out very slowly already but if that's the case, why would it result in such a huge dent on my car? Hmm I wonder. Called my parents immediately and they rushed down to help me settle everything. Good thing noone's injured. All of us agreed they should feel the pinch more as theirs is a new SFZ camry. Oh well. It's unpredictable anyway. And I saw the really @!#$%^ side of MEN. After I got hit, my first reaction was to get out and see what's wrong right? And I know my car is in the middle of the road but is there a need for this man to wind down his window and scream at me? This idiot actually wound down his window and shouted, 'Aye you think here free parking ar??!?!' I was like WAD?!! I mean can't you open your damn eyes big and see there's an accident here?!?!? Totally disgusted. MEN! Such ungentlemanly creature.

Anyway, that aside since everything's settled by my parents though I'm still in shock. Remember I said I wasn't that sure of my decision to leave CDC? Now I can firmly tell you my decision is right. There's a bitch and a jerk at the CDC and I thank God I left. Got my worst experience on my last day there after like more than a year with them. I swear I hate that 2 idiots to the core!

Tomorrow's my first day at a new working place. I hope everything will turn out well and marks another new beginning for me.

I dreamt of him again.

By,
CarysMummy

At long last.

At 3:19 PM on Friday, November 25, 2005

Today is my last day working here at CDC. I’m finally out of PA after 4 years. I’m actually not very confident of my decision. I don’t know if I should be feeling happy. I wonder if I’ll regret leaving. I wonder what awaits me. Found a job at Merk. At last a different field. I hope everything will turn out well. Having mixed feelings. Not too sure if it’s a wise choice. Do not know how to describe how I feel presently. Life is full of dilemmas. Isn’t it?

By,
CarysMummy

i am longwinded.

At 3:20 PM on Monday, November 21, 2005

Finally felt relieved. Gotten my results and thank God I managed to pass all. That has been my greatest worry. Though my grades aren’t fantastic but I’m pretty satisfied. Mummy and Daddy always say I dote on myself a lot. Never allow myself to go sleepless during exams period or will I set too high targets and force myself to reach them. They say I just love myself too much and will not overwork myself. Even if I don’t finish studying, I’ll just go straight to bed once the clock hits 10 regardless of whether I’ve finished or not. Then I will be in a panic state the next morning and stare blankly at the exam papers placed before me. Terrible girl I am. That is why I always have to thank God whenever I managed to scrape through till now.

1.5 yrs of Uni life has passed. I’m only left with the remaining 1.5 yrs. Just when I’m starting to like school and all, it’s going to end. I want to treasure my remaining school life and enjoy it to the fullest with my wonderful classmates for the next 1.5 yrs. I hope I will finally work hard and do well for my academic and give my best shot. That shall be 2 of my many resolutions for the coming year. Something which I’m still considering: Should I quit my job and concentrate on my studies since the latter should be placed more emphasis as I proceed to stage 2. But that would mean I’ll be poorer by a few hundreds which are actually easy money. If I quit, it means I will have more time to catch up with friends and classmates and make full use of my last 1.5 schooling years which is something I’ve been wanting to do and I guess I’ll be happy doing. However, I do not wish to increase my parent’s burden when I can actually use my time fruitfully to earn my keep. Just what should I do? Quite a tough decision to make.

Caught Harry Potter last Friday with sis. No doubt it was, as many have said, disappointing due to the fact that many details have been omitted. Having read the book only recently, many details which are absent in the movie are still fresh in my head. However, it was still not that bad after all. In fact I feel that it’s a better one than e previous ones if we were to cast what we have read aside. I would think it’s good actually. Coincidentally, I met him again after we finished the show. That very morning, weirdly, I’ve already have the feeling that I might bump into him at TM and true enough I did. I hate the feeling of meeting him and feeling uneasy again. Fortunately he was alone when I saw him. It would have been worse if I saw him with his girlfriend and even worse, holding hands. I really don’t know how I’d react then. Whenever I see a couple holding hands, somehow I’d feel it’s sweet but if it’s him I see, I’d probably not like it. Though I know things are over a long time ago but I’ll still wish I’ll not see him with another girl. I’m selfish I know. But who isn’t?

It seems recently people have been asking if I have a boyfriend. On Sat I received 3. One of which was my grandma. She actually told me not to be too picky and said just a normal guy will do. She sound like she’s trying to tell me I’m not young anymore cannot be too choosy but I’m still young what! Still can afford to take my time right? Was I really very picky? I don’t feel so actually. I’m just patiently waiting for my destined one to come that’s all. I wasn’t even choosing. As for the other him, after much advice and comments from the adults, I know what my decision will be. Although I know for sure I will be very well taken care of in his hands and he gives me a strong sense of security, but reality is harsh. I can’t convince myself to ignore the obvious gap between us. I have to consider the future. Head vs. Heart, I had to choose the former. The struggle within me has been long enough and should be put to an end. I hope my decision will be the best for everyone. I’m free once again.

By,
CarysMummy

Incompetency.

At 9:32 AM on Thursday, November 17, 2005

Dad was telling me about how incompetent Singapore policemen are. He commented on that after hearing a public’s appeal to the radio station about how he called the police for 3 times and they did not come to his rescue. Then, he quoted me this incident he saw some time ago at his previous workplace. Someone called the police after he saw a group of Indians and sensed something’s not right. True enough, there was a fight after that. But the police arrived only after the man ran away appearing to be fast and efficient checking on this and that. What took so long for the police to arrive when the call has been made long before the incident happened? Dear Mr Policemen, please do not make it as if you all take the taxpayer’s money and do nothing. At least that’s what many people think. Please prove us wrong. Immediately after Dad finish, we saw an ambulance zoom past. First, they stopped by a motorist probably taking a rest (no idea what were they doing) at e road shoulder thinking they are the casualties then realised they are not and moved on. Then they stopped again at the chevron markings (not sure what they are called, just some markings that cars are not supposed to cross or stop at). Then Dad and I thought the accident might be there. But to our surprise, when we past the ambulance, guess what we saw? The driver, had his head popped out of the window (it was drizzling though), and was looking into his side mirror, COMBING HIS HAIR! Dad and I went like WHAT?!?!?! We were totally amazed! First he zoomed past us so fast and the fact that they stopped by the motorist thinking they are the casualties, so we thought they must have been informed of an urgent case somewhere. And since there’s an urgent case, why should you be stopping somewhere with nothing happening and comb your hair? If there really is an urgent case, think what might have happened to the casualty while waiting for you to come and rescue and there you are taking your time to comb your hair. We really find this ridiculous. Dad said a pity we do not have a camera to take down his actions and report against him because we were just next to him and saw exactly what he was doing. Just after Dad finished his piece about the policemen and there we saw for ourselves the paramedics. Disappointing.

By,
CarysMummy

Rantlings and misses.

At 4:34 PM on Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Love the office at this time of the day when no one’s around. How I wish the office will be like that everyday. Did what I hated most just now. I’ve told myself so many times that I’m not going to oblige and do what they tell me to do the next time but still, I do not know how to reject and got myself all upset and angry again. I SIMPLY HATE COVERING COUNTER DUTIES!! I repeat, I HATE COUNTER DUTIES!!! Each time after I finish counter duties, I swear I’m NOT going to do it again but I just can’t reject when asked to. Is that part of what I’m supposed to do? Is that my job scope? How come I wasn’t informed right from the start? It seems I’m starting to hate working here more each day. On the other hand, what holds me back is some of the wonderful people here and the time flexibility. Just tell me what I should do!

Been watching this Korean series ‘Full House’ recently. Stupid sis introduced that show to me and made me depressed. Yes, depressed. It made me fantasize such a guy who only exists in shows and waking up realising that it will NEVER happen in reality. To watch the show in tears showing utmost sympathy for the dream man. Why on earth would anyone want to produce such a show? And the worst thing is there are actually people who watch them. How dumb can I get? Told my sis I do not want to watch already. It’s all her fault. But I must admit it’s a touching show.

I finally had a rather proper chat with Xiufong after like more than a year or more. It’s been such a long long time since I last talked to her. I realised I still liked talking to her. Yes I miss her lots. As well as Qing and Sebrina. Sac days are still the best! It’s been a great little catch up with her this afternoon and I’m really happy for her that she’s found her love. But this catch up is too short! Meet up soon k?

I kind of missed all my friends out of the sudden. Weird me.

I have an egg tart that my most favourite colleague forced me to have on my desk. That’s also one of the reasons why I can’t bear to quit. They are just so lovely. But what should I do with the egg tart? I’m so full. That’s also why I’m kind of afraid of them. Too lovely. A ‘no’ does not mean a ‘no’ to them. I’ve said I do not want but still it landed on my desk. Haha. Nevertheless, I still like them.

I’m seriously getting fatter. Can’t say no to food seriously. And can’t say yes to exercise. Well well…





By,
CarysMummy

Very long and random.

At 4:26 PM on Monday, November 14, 2005

There’s nothing much to blog about recently because everyday revolves around just work. Indeed working here has become stagnant and there is nothing much for me to learn. Time flies and it’s been about 10 months ever since I temp here. There is simply nothing to look forward to at work. Let me tell you my job scope. It’s just simply to flip through the hundreds of applications, check that applicant’s copy of NRIC, child’s BC, payslips or income declarations are submitted and decide to recommend or not to recommend. Then key in their data into 3 different database and that is key in e same lot of information thrice and come up with the statistics. After which, hand the processed forms over to my manager for approval which she will then pass it to the DGM for approval again. Then they will be returned to me for recommendation of assistance online. Lastly, send a letter of notification. These few steps will have to be repeated over and over again for the hundreds of applications. This is what I have been doing for the past 10 months. Nothing more interesting or different. Just tell me what do I learn from doing those? I know I shouldn’t be complaining but I’m really really sick of my work. I yearn for a change.

I dreamt of him last night. Holding my hands with the same warmth he has given me 2 years ago. The same feelings, the same touch. I know why I dream of him. It’s because I miss him. Yes I do. I do not wish to hide anymore. Indeed I still have feelings for him. First love is always the sweetest and most unforgettable. Silly Jasmine is still hoping he will come back one day. How silly indeed.

Took leave on Friday as I have a dental appointment in the morning. Initially thought of just taking a half day morning leave but in the end decided I should just take a break off work. Just look at how wonderful life is without having to work. After my dental appointment, went to have lunch with mum n sis at pizza hut. Sis actually had cca that day but she decided not to attend and go shopping with me instead since I seldom take leave. It was a splendid day out with her. I’m enjoying her company more each day. She’s not longer the little girl she used to be. Mature and sensible now, I’m able to confide in her without having to worry that she won’t be able to understand. She has indeed grown up. Walked around orchard, combed several shopping centres. Though tiring, it was a wonderful day. Bought her a harry potter triwizard maze game, her all time favourite. She’s simply too in love with harry potter that she has a collection of things associated with him. I guess she’s really happy to have that game. Seeing her happy I’m happy too. Headed home after an entire afternoon out. Took out the game to play. Hey that was really fun! Played till wee hours till mum have to come and tell us it’s time for bed. When we have our own rooms after Da Jie moves out, I would probably miss sharing a room with her gossiping n singing throughout the night when we can’t sleep.

Ah yes Da Jie and my pretty much confirmed brother-in-law to be has gotten their new flat. Which means they will have to ROM pretty soon. This is getting so exciting. MY SIS IS GETTING MARRIED!! Oh just can’t believe it. Having an asset at such a young age. Another phase in life. I wish them both happiness. Dajie, I want you to be happy always. Oh ya, please reserve a room for me in your new flat! HAHA! Mum came up with the idea of celebrating my 21st at their new house. I thought it’s a great idea. That would be nice. So should I still ask my colleague to help me book the PA bungalow? Will see how.


By,
CarysMummy

d r e a m s

At 9:34 AM on Monday, November 07, 2005

It seems I keep dreaming of Mr Right. This time maybe I know who he is. The feeling’s so great, but only in my dreams, AGAIN. He belongs to my friend. It’s weird why he came into my dreams. Anyway, though it feels sweet but sickening. I shan’t think about it.

By,
CarysMummy