At 1:48 PM on Sunday, September 10, 2006

I thought I wouldn't be so affected by this but I was wrong. If I wanted others to know I would have done it myself. This isn't the first time it happened. Plus many other things. My little sis is the only one who understands, who could sense my unhappiness. Noone else would. Thank God for her.

Sobbing quietly in the middle of the night, lights off in the room, making sure noone saw, pretending nothing happened just didn't help things at all. The only biggest consolation I get is I'll always have my wonderful family by my side. My little sis, who is my confidante at all times, my adviser, someone who could sense when i'm unhappy, my companion. Thankfully I have them.

I just feel that nothing else is real now. You just won't know if someone is true to you or pretending all the while. Or betray you or stab you from the back. Perhaps things isn't as simple as what it seems. Even a 16 yr old could sense it. Just tell me if i'm wrong? I feel a sense of betrayal which is a totally sickening feeling. I feel dumb for trusting. I regretted fully for not keeping mum about it. I'm just plain stupid. My sis could think of that but why didn't I?

I don't want to be miserable and upset anymore!

By,
CarysMummy