At 2:06 AM on Friday, July 31, 2009

I was packing my room with mum the other day and she found these.

These rings were all made by her about 5 years ago. She even forgotten that she used to make these for me. Earrings, bracelets, necklaces and many others too. I must say my mum is indeed a super mummy. From handicrafts to accessories to doing manicure and pedicure for us, to doing foot reflexology and full body massage for us, to restaurant style cooking to baking to being a cobbler, a plumber and even a carpenter, to remembering all our friends and our needs, to surprising us with little presents, to never fail to send us to wherever we want to go and picking us up without a word of complain sometimes waiting up to hrs just because she doesn't want us to be tired, to always putting us before anything else to many many others. The list just goes on and on. Truly thankful for this wonderful and super mummy. She's the best mum one can ever have. Nothing is ever too difficult and impossible for her. I'm very proud to have her as my mummy. I love you Mummy!

p/s: the hands belong to my little sis who got arrowed to let mum satisfy her excitement of putting on all the rings. Should have seen how excited mum was and how my little sis was so 无奈 cos she just came back from her camp and was totally exhausted. But then again it was hilarious just looking at both their expressions. We really had a good mother-daughter time. Just the 3 of us.

By,
CarysMummy



At 1:52 AM on

Felt sick today. Actually since 2 days ago. Ever since I felt gastric cramp which i've never felt before. I started having diarrhoea each time i eat something. And now left with bloatedness, nauseasness and headache. Finally went to the doctor before work today. Gotten mc but still at work now. Quite rare for me yea? This is the 2nd time i did that. Amazed at myself too. Just didn't want to invite unnecessary talks. Gotten myself one bag of medicine. I think it's the first time I need to take so much medicine at one go. Been taking far too much medicine and seeing alot of doctors recently that I'm feeling very scared of doctors and medicine already. Till i don't feel my tastebud working anymore. It's perpetually bland. =(

Today the little darling is abit naughty. Threw all his toys on the floor and started crying when he couldn't reach for them. He's beginning to cry and shout angrily now when he doesn't get his way. Just this morning I was trying to watch my tv and there he is throwing his toys, me picking it up, throws again, me ignored him, then he started shouting. Scolded him and told him if he's going to throw them again then no more toys for him. Then he started crying so pitifully. Yiyi melts. Sayang-ed him. Gives him all his toys. Little darling is happy again. So is yiyi. Simple joy. Love the way he cuddles up to me and really makes me wanna sayang him. He's just so cute when he walks around the house now! Really brought joy. Everyone's little darling.

By,
CarysMummy



At 1:36 AM on Thursday, July 30, 2009

Drafting entry in office again. Realised it’s a rather good time to write something since there isn’t much at work anyway. Just that I can’t upload right away and entry will be few hours delayed. But it’s still good. And I realized I really like to write rather than speak. Just came back from dinner. Really appreciate being able to head home for dinner to mummy’s yummy home-cooked food almost everyday. Except days when dear comes and bring me out for dinner. In case you were wondering or I forgot to mention, we shifted to Changi Business Park from Tampines Junction more than a month ago. If you happened to know this place, you would know how deserted it is. It’s just like a town on its own except the lack of basic amenities with food and transport being the biggest problem to many. But for me, both areas has been addressed nicely and according to boss, I might be the only one who prefers it here. Of course, Tampines is really convenient and definitely more “colourful”. Well, not that I won’t get to visit Tampines anymore, just gives me more valid reasons to go there and since I’m staying in the East, it doesn’t really make any difference for me.

And back to work, today’s a more productive day because one of them is on leave. I’ve been secretly hoping for people to be on leave. To be frank, 1 find 5 people a little too many. I’d prefer it 4 or even 3 is nice. Probably I haven really experience working non-stop till I hardly have time to breathe cause everyone else who has gone through it disagrees having only 3 or 4 left. Well like I’ve said before, I’m only happy when I have work to do. Only then I’ll feel more useful and more sense of achievement.

Enough of work, I’m so in love with my room now. At least it looks more like a room now. Right dear? He’s never knew that my sofa can be that comfortable cause it’s always hidden under piles and piles of things and never managed to see the light. So no one ever gets the chance to sit on it until my dear mummy decides to help me revamp my room. So now I have a really comfortable room all thanks to mummy! Love you mummy! And I’ve kept it tidy for the 4th day now. (Somehow I can see dear and mummy giving me the ‘ok-let’s-see-how-long-you-can-maintain-this’ look) *pout*

By,
CarysMummy



At 1:29 AM on Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Drafting this entry in office now in case my emotions are gone by the time I reached home then I’ll have nothing to write about. So now, while they’re still fresh and present, there you go, a ranting entry. I had the most unmotivated day yesterday after so long. Today is no exception. Especially after something that happened that triggered the annoyed mode. It’s all accumulated since a long time ago. I feel like a volcano beginning to erupt. I’m no longer able to treat him nicely because he’s really a pain, an irritant. There are so many kinds of guys and this kind, seriously doesn’t earn my respect or the slightest admiration. Very much a loser in fact. Empty vessel makes the most noise. How apt.

Just what does he have to be able to survive? Probably that mouth of his. As I’m writing this entry, I still feel a great deal of displeasure towards him. Trying to recall whatever he have said or done or thought, I feel disgusted. Totally.

And I simply hate it when opportunities and responsibilities are given to him because he simply don’t deserve any. Anyone else but him! And just how many times and how long have he said he wanted to leave? Then jolly well leave! Why still sticking around and make yourself such a pain in the ass?! Frankly, I really can’t wait for him to leave. What’s the point of not even being serious and yet given opportunities? I just can’t take it lying down. And it pisses me a whole lot when he has things to do and yet gives a nonchalant attitude.

So want to tell him, want to leave then leave! And keep that big gap of yours shut if there isn’t a need for your contribution. Learn to be humble please and quit being a 马后炮. It just doesn’t make you any better looking or lovable. They just never fail to piss me off time and again.

And do tell me if there aren’t any better plans for me. I hate to be wasting time doing nothing like what I’m doing now. It just defeats the purpose of wanting to join a fast pace environment. And I just don’t see how giving me what I’m doing now can help me progress. It feels like backtracking instead. And what you claimed and your actions really doesn’t seem to synchronize. Don’t want me to be bored doing settlements all the time? Then is booking proof any more exciting? And if doing settlements doesn’t help me to progress, then copying and pasting does? Or striping me of all that I used to do does?

By,
CarysMummy



At 9:16 PM on Sunday, July 19, 2009

I've been spending mornings with my little darling lately. He's just so good at stealing people's heart by just smiling sweetly at you or pretending to be innocent when you are about to scold him for being mischievous. This little darling.
Can you resist him?

By,
CarysMummy



At 10:06 PM on Sunday, July 12, 2009

Presenting my new love. Born on 24th June 2009. Supposed to get it on my birthday. Sigh shan't talk about it anymore since it's here already! My biggest buy in 24 years. Finally given up on Yaris since I still prefer Honda all these while. Influence from parents since young perhaps. Nevertheless, I love this new toy just as much!! Pretty pretty!! Love it!! Finally a car I call my own.


By,
CarysMummy

24th Birthday

At 4:14 PM on Saturday, July 11, 2009

Long overdue entry. My 24th birthday. I feel old. It's been 2 cycles. I thank God that everything's been rather smooth sailing for me for the past years. I pray for more good years ahead. And thank you dear ones for all the love showered upon me. I'm really truly blessed.


My dearest little sis and I.

My little darling holding the present he 'prepared' for me.

Presenting my present. Look at the words. He 'wrote' the words himself! He's so cute!! Love him to bits!!
My wonderful pillar of strength.
Thank you Mum and Dad for raising me up. I love you Daddy and Mummy!

Happy 24th to me!

On actual day. Sweet little sis made me my fav choc mint cake! Thanks little darling. Taste very yummy!

Pardon the at home look.
Celebration with my dearest gals. So sweet of them to accommodate to my timing and venue due to my working hrs. Love you gals!
The card they prepared and a lovely watch.My sweet gals as always.
Happy birthday to Seb dear too!

By,
CarysMummy



At 3:44 AM on Friday, July 10, 2009

Had a pain in the back last month. And had headaches which my happy pills cannot cure anymore. Furthermore my fingers on my left hand felt numb. Initially thought it was just some stiffness in the back and shoulder so I went to some sinseh requesting for a rub but ended up with accupuncture which i hate and he did ba guan on me which left me all bruised and did not feel any better. Then I went to a massage parlour recommended by some chi doc. She did a back massage for me and it only felt good momentarily. Not long after the discomfort resurfaced. It feels really uncomfortable and I couldn't sleep well. Bought salon pas, worked for a night and lost its effect on the 2nd try.

Then, couldn't take it anymore, I went to the clinic. Waited for what it seems like forever to see the doc. It is the first time I've seen a doc who faces her monitor most of the time typing her report away. Every single little detail has to be included. Imagine 1 hr having seen only 2 patients. That's how detailed she is. Anyway, she sent me to have my xray taken cos she suspects my nerves might be injured. And so i went, took my xray and went back to her. It's another round of waiting. Average waiting time to see her is at least an hr. That day I was at her clinic for at least 3 hrs.


And so she saw my xray. I took a back xray, a neck/shoulder xray as well as an xray for my foot. The back xray and foot xray was actually within my expectation. Already knew that i've crooked backbone and an extra bone for my foot long ago. But what shocked me was I actually have 2 extra bones coming out from the last segment of my neck near shoulder area. These are the bones that could be pressing on my nerves giving me the numbness and headaches. Doc said it's rather unusual. Mum's amazed by how many extra bones i have here and there. Backbone and foot could be solved by operation but not really crucial. It's the bones at the neck that's disturbing with all the headaches and numbness. So, she referred me to a specialist at CGH which i've yet to make an appointment for further review. Shall see.

The arrows indicate where the extra bones are. Not very visible here. Very faint.

Picture of my S-shaped backbone.

By,
CarysMummy



At 3:02 AM on Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Have been gone for the longest time I know. I wouldn’t say I had no time to update. Just lost the momentum to and of course, the lazy factor. And after enduring what could have been one of the worst nights on Friday and Saturday, I’ve never had such strong urge to log onto blogger and translate all my unhappiness into words. At that time, I found the purpose back to blogging. I just badly needed an outlet. Somewhere I could pour everything that is suffocating me badly out of me. Not that I’ve noone to talk to, just that some things are just hard to come out from the mouth and to anyone. I just do not know how to turn to anyone. The first thing that came to my mind is my blog. But unfortunately, it refuses to sign me in at the times I needed it the most. I do not know why but perhaps I shouldn’t have abandoned it for such a long time. Now, I’m finally coming back.

There was so much I wanted to say at that time. Now it seems after a couple of days, everything seems to have subsided and I do not know what’s left in me. Perhaps still a little emotions here and there but no longer that intense. That’s probably a good thing about me. Recalling how I spent my Fri and Sat night, it was through tears and no sleep at all. I’ve never had my mind so alert that I’ve no wish to sleep at all. Feels really terrible. If I was able to blog at that time, it will be about why I was unhappy. But now, without those emotions felt at that time, there’s nothing much I have to say and found no more meaning to say. Instead, just a reflection for what happened.

It was all about not being able to let go of some things in life. About my 执着, reasonable as well as unreasonable ones. About being 钻牛角尖. About the intolerable beliefs and character I have. Till now, I’m still not quite sure what was the 导火线. I was just totally depressed over the happenings. It was probably an accumulated series of events. I really don’t know. Perhaps a rubber band over stretched and finally snapped? Leave that portion alone. Finding the answer now no longer help anything anymore. Just know that I’m able to step out of this and found myself back. All thanks to supportive dear ones forever standing by me and loving me. 真庆幸家依然是我的避风港, 永远不离不弃.

On a lighter note, I do have happy occasions to share. I will start doing up the long overdue entries and make this blog alive again. Stay tuned.

p/s: Finally managed to load blogger and sign in after almost 4 days of trying. Guess what? Blogger is afraid of Shifu!! The moment i sought his advice and tadah! I'm in!! Quite amazed actually. This entry was actually drafted 2days back just waiting to load blogger and post.

By,
CarysMummy