At 8:49 PM on Monday, November 29, 2010

The stress built up all these while is slowly breaking me. I really didn't think all these will affect me so much and for so long. The anxiety caused by them all is detrimental. I feel nausea and unwell at every thought, every sentence, every word that are associated. There is just so much going on for me to take. It's a torment both mentally and physically. Ever since, there is parent's acceptance, sisters' accceptance, relatives acceptance, what others say, what others think, wanting everyone at home to be happy, parents to not have to work so hard yet i'm not capable, great fear if anything will happen to anyone, trying hard to change, losing myself, putting in too much feelings in things, accountability, finances, unhappiness at work, living in regret, making wrong decisions, afraid loved ones will be upset, and much more. The worst is what just happened. It has always been on my mind constantly even though I'm someone not close. It just affected me tremendously. I still cannot believe it happened yet it did. It is really something very hard to accept. Today, mum told me something which just added on. How much more will there be? Will I be able to take more?

By,
CarysMummy